These are the times I sometimes resent the ways I’ve changed. The times I wish I could go back to my more controlled, less emotional self.
Then I didn’t feel so deeply…or at least I wasn’t aware I felt so deeply.
I got a call from a friend in Colorado today sharing that her husband’s (who is also my dear friend) brother passed away during the night.
I think about how fiercely I love each of my siblings, and I don’t even want to imagine losing one.
How do you hear of a friend’s fresh, deep, heavy sorrow and not grieve with him? The pain touches such a tender place in me, and I want to hide.
But I know my friends deserve my grief, and I choose to grieve with them.
And I know that it is an honor they were willing to call and share their sorrow with me.
And what an poignant picture of life that we grieve with these friends over death while they rejoice with us over the new life growing in my belly.
And what a picture of Christmas that we feel the effects of a fallen and evil world while awaiting the Hope that reminds us of a world with no pain.
And somewhere in the grieving this Christmas, my resentment melts, and I am thankful for the grief and the tears that keep me connected to my friends and my God.