I was going to start this post with a disclaimer about how I only use Pinterest for recipes and quotes, but it sounded a bit like unsolicited denial, so I’ll just get right to it.
The other day I pinned a quote that said: “I like to hang out with people who make me forget to look at my phone.”
I pinned it initially because I thought it was pretty witty and pretty true. Yeah. Of course you should be interesting enough to keep me from looking at my phone.
A few days later I saw a few people had repinned the quote, and I reread it.
I thought twice.
I didn’t love the quote anymore.
I think everyone deserves my undivided attention. I do not think that they should have to earn it.
Are some people more or less interesting than others? Sure. Does that mean that I should passive aggressively (or at least distractedly) glance at my phone to see what completely more interesting, more important, more worth my time things are going on?
To be honest, I hate it when people look at their phones while talking to me. It makes me feel completely unimportant, uninteresting, or unloved in that moment. I start to wonder if they’ve even heard anything I’ve said. I start feeling this pressure to either end the conversation or say something more interesting.
If I was sharing something vulnerable and important, it makes me feel even more hurt, even more rejected.
Sure, people might just be distracted and not mean any harm at all. They might be totally interested in what I am saying, but checking their phone is just a habit.
But it sure doesn’t feel that way.
And the really crappy part is that I know I am guilty of doing this to others.
And If I am trying to communicate to someone that I care, if I’m trying to be a friend, if I’m trying to understand and know someone more- then why ON EARTH would I be splitting my attention elsewhere?
Instead of being the person that makes you earn my undivided, non-cell-phone-checking attention, I want to work on being the person who makes you feel like a million bucks. The person who makes you feel completely understood and listened to. The person who makes you feel special and loved.
I hope if you feel otherwise from me, you will let me know.