Happy birthday to my twin sister, Kati!
It’s hard to explain what it’s like to be a twin. It is such a unique experience, and though I don’t know any different, I think it’s super cool to be one.
I thought maybe the best way to explain what it’s like to be a twin would be to share speeches at our weddings- a time when we tangibly loosened some of our ‘twin bond’ to join to our new partners in life.
Kati got married over five years ago so I didn’t remember everything I had said in my speech. It was interesting after re-watching her speech at my wedding, and then reading my speech (which I found saved on an external hard drive) how similar they were.
Some themes you may have noticed if you read them: competition (you could say this is a Swenor family value), love for each other, the uniqueness of being a twin, and support for each other’s new husbands.
I also found it interesting that what I said in my speech for Kati’s wedding was very similar to the birthday card I had just finished writing her this year.
Namely, that my twin sister is one of the most selfless, generous, caring, people in the world, and that she is my constant reminder not to take everything so seriously.
I tend to get irritated and agitated easily. I like things to be a certain way. I think I’ve mentioned how my husband likes to call me “particular.”
And I am. Particular. About EVERYTHING.
Not Kati. Kati is like, “what? that shoe doesn’t fit? Oh well, just put on another, who cares if it matches.” She is like, “driving alone with my one year old fifteen hours north to see my family? No problem.” Or “Oh, you want a gourmet meal at a last second’s notice? Sure, I’ll see what I can cook up.”
Often, when I’m in the car with Kati and my road rage flares, she will say something like, “Krista, what’s the hurry? We’ll still get there.” In those moments her calm voice definitely borders on irritating, but I know she’s right.
It’s interesting how God knows what we need.
Both my twin and my hubs are the perfect calmness to balance my freak-out-ness. They are the patience to my impatience, the easy-going-ness to my particular-ness, the positivity to my cynicism, the grace to my anger. Maybe someday I’ll be telling my children, before there was your dad, there was your aunt Kati…if you think I’m obnoxious now, you should thank them both…
And Kati’s selflessness comes from a genuine place of caring for people. As a child, she would often cry if anyone else was hurting or crying. This is the type of sensitive spirit she is. She loves deeply, and she cares. She is vulnerable with her heart in a way I strive to be.
I don’t know what it’s like not to be a twin. I’ve always been one. I do know that it has been such a blessing in my life to have someone to go through life with. Even now, when we live in different towns, we have completely different jobs, and she has kids and I don’t- there’s still this sense that we are chartering the waters of our thirties together, learning what it means to be grown up, what it means to forgive and be forgiven, what it means to grow as wives, what it means to live out of who God calls us to be. I love that even though we are far apart, there will always be a sense of being together.
I am very thankful to have a twin, but even more thankful that the twin God chose for me is Kati.