It’s funny because if someone asked me if I often felt beautiful I would probably say “not at all” but when thinking about what to write about here enough instances to write a short novel, or at least an epic poem, came to mind.
I could write about the beauty I see when I pour over my recently completed wedding scrapbook (5 ½ years later). And there are not words enough to express my new understanding of my own beauty when I notice how my 14 month old daughter looks like me or when my 14 month old son gazes at me as though I’m the only woman in the world (yes they are twins). How about when I’m confidently teaching a class on a subject I love, or enjoying an evening with friends, and of course when I’m wading deep in the waters of worship for my Savior. But no there’s something else that has always and will always make me feel beautiful.
Performing, becoming a character on stage, sharing their story with an audience- I have never felt anything less than beautiful on the theatrical stage, even if I’m playing a less than beautiful character. I’m not sure I really understand why or could explain what it is that makes me feel this way. At first I thought it’s because it’s easier to feel good about yourself when you’re being someone else…so maybe this is a bad example…but I don’t think that’s it.
Perhaps it’s more about my passion, yes I think that’s it! I am PASSIONATE about the theatrical stage. When I have the chance to bring a character to life for a live audience I do so with a deep passion. I love the process of discovering who that character is and creating them in my own style. I love the moments of discovery during the rehearsal process when everybody goes YES that’s it! I love finally getting to connect that character with an audience and drawing them into the world of the play. I always…I know that’s a bold statement, but yes always…feel beautiful playing a theatrical roll that I’ve worked hard on… even when I’m playing a man, or a goat (yes I’ve done both).
Theatre has gotten me through some really rough spots. Being able to escape into another world with almost reckless abandon is a very cathartic experience (and we all need some catharsis-emotional purging- in our lives!). I also love being able to deliver a chance for catharsis to my audience, I mean that’s why we go to the theatre isn’t it? To laugh, to cry, to love, to live vicariously?
These are the giftings God gave me and I am passionate about using them to the best of my abilities. It is the ONE thing in my life I never doubt if I’m “good at it” which just allows my passion to eek out of my every pore…can you tell I’m passionate about it J When this all comes together- me PASSIONATELY throwing myself into using my God given talents then I know I am Beautiful!
Julie-Rose has a MA in Theatre and looks forward to getting back in a college classroom to teach someday. She currently resides at Whiteman AFB in Missouri with her military hubby. The most challenging and also most rewarding “roll” she has ever played is her current roll as stay at home mom of one year old twins.