Two years ago I sat here in the middle of the night with my newborn son snuggled on my chest writing a blog post for Krista about my life as a woman, today I’m snuggling my newborn daughter as I think about a time when I felt beautiful.
My mind is sorting and sifting through the many wonderful times that I have felt beautiful when suddenly my daughter spits up all over me…everywhere. The timing of it all makes me laugh, and I keep laughing as I think of the countless moments when motherhood does not feel beautiful. In spite of those experiences, I find myself returning to two memories of being a new mother that do make me feel beautiful. Very simple and beautiful moments with my own mom.
My mom spent a lot of time helping us in the days and weeks following the birth of each of our children. She swept, did dishes, folded laundry, cooked, and snuggled those sweet little ones as often as she could. I enjoyed hearing my mom talking to my babies as she rocked and soothed them. She talked about taking them to her condo in Florida one day, she talked about how much she loved them, and she talked to them about me…”there’s your pretty mommy” she would say.
“There’s your pretty mommy”…and in those moments, no matter what I felt like or looked like, I felt beautiful.
Beautiful…because right then she knew exactly what I needed and she gave it to me with a servants heart.
Beautiful…because I understood that her statement of love reflected a new kind of love growing inside me for these babies. A terrifying and sacrificial love that pushes me to a new understanding of the love that God has for us.
And right then, in those moments, I felt beautiful as I received that amazing type of love from my own pretty mommy. I treasure those memories and I hope that one day I am fortunate enough to experience another moment of beauty, a simple and beautiful moment where I lean down and whisper to my own grandchildren…”there’s your pretty mommy”.
Andi Reffett shares her time as a licensed clinical psychologist for Heartland Counseling Center and as a part-time stay at home mom. She lives in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband and two children. Given that she has a newborn and two year old, her current hobbies include building with Legos, playing with construction diggers, flying through the house as a super hero, and sleeping. Andi loves her life and the balance between being a professional and a mother. As a means of integrating the two, she is considering doing research on the use of Jedi mind tricks with toddlers during meal and nap times.