By Corey Harrison
I originally considered the request to share my feelings for my wife to be a simple one. I know how I feel about Melissa, so why would writing it down for complete internet strangers to read be so difficult?
This is my third (maybe forth) iteration of the post, and I’ve realized that it was more difficult than I expected. Krista requested that I describe my feelings in a written format. This requires I focus on grammar, punctuation, and a cohesive thought process in addition to being introspective about my feelings. This is not something I’m practiced at.
I am confident that I do a good job of “showing” my wife that I love her through daily actions…foot rubs, lots of kisses at totally random times, being honest when she asks my for fashion advice, doing my best to just listen, and telling her I love her in a combination of serious, playful, and sentimental voices.
Maybe it’s hung over from a childhood illness, something like polio of the brain’s emotional communication center, but expressing specific reasons for my sentimental feelings towards her isn’t natural for me. For all I know, it’s my mother’s fault or maybe my father’s…or maybe it’s not a fault at all and it’s supposed to be awkward? (yes, I know that’s not true)
The other men who have more eloquently written on this site have provided many reasons why they love their wives. I attempted to follow their leads, but it felt forced, my brain prefers lists. So I began to create my own list and was surprised to find that I unknowingly created a timeline of our life together. You’ll have to believe me when I tell you this wasn’t planned, it just came out this way.
As it turned out, “Why do I love my wife?” was a surprisingly complicated question because the answer has changed over time. This is natural of course, and somehow I felt more comfortable writing and sharing it. See, the story of my connection to Melissa started with infatuation and lust. Since then, it has moved on to appreciation…and lust, and hopefully, at the end of our lives, it will be filled with memories, gratitude, satisfaction, and if I am able…lust.
So finally, here are my thoughts on why I have, do, and will love my wife Melissa:
- I met Melissa at an informal city hall wedding celebration at a bar in San Francisco. Man did I love the leather pants she was wearing.
- The first time I was at her apartment, I saw that she was taping science fiction shows and declared that reality TV was a waste of everyone’s time. I loved her cultural interests.
- The first time I kissed her lips…I can still feel how soft they were. (need I say more?)
- She took a huge risk moving to Chicago for me and starting over with her career and friends…awesome strength of character and a willingness to risk todays comfort for future happiness.
- Creating and birthing our son was more difficult than most, and she didn’t falter, worked harder and marveled at the process and at our success.
- She is drawn to the uniqueness of people and has built us a widely varied group of friends. From rich to poor, educated to self-taught, and wildly different in ethnicity, faith, and sexuality. She believes experiences through different perspectives will make her…me…and our son grow in new ways throughout our lives. And she is right.
- We’ve taken risks and opportunities together that I would not have taken otherwise. Sometimes she leads us to the decision, sometimes she follows, but we do it together and have been stronger for it.
- Her honest goodness is hard for a cynic like me to always appreciate. But I know that has brought me to a different level of compassion than I had before. This makes me a better person, a better man, and a better husband.
- I love that her strengths compliment mine so well. Where I’m too direct, she’s polished. When I’m too dismissive, she’s thoughtful. When all I see is black and white, she sees a rainbow.
Now that I’m on a roll, going on like this would be easy, but somehow unnecessary. For all she does and for who she is, I can sum up why I love her in 8 simple words.
“Since I met her, I wanted no others.”