By KC Maddox
Why do I love my wife Kinsey?
If I had to answer that quickly and succinctly I would simply say, “She loves Jesus, me, and she is just stinking cool!” But I have never been known for saying things quickly or succinctly.
Kinsey Loves Jesus. I cannot tell you how many times she has blown my mind with deep, simple gospel reminders that lead me to love Jesus more deeply. Kinsey has a love for Jesus that is direct and sincere. I love to see her love Jesus. She engages our kids with wisdom and authentic devotion for the lord. I have heard her answering Quinn’s questions of how Jesus can live in our hearts when we don’t have doors and do it with stunning grace and conviction. But Kinsey’s faith is not just absorbed by our children, others are recipients as well. Kinsey welcomes so many people into our lives, not simply our house. She is warm and inviting and people notice it. I am quite sure that the only way I qualify as hospitable in the qualities of an elder is because of Kinsey. But our children and others are not the only recipients, Kinsey’s love for Jesus blows me away. When I see Kinsey praise her sweet savior in song, I am reminded of what adoration for Jesus should look like in my life. I want to adore Jesus the way I see my Kinsey adore Jesus. Kinsey loves Jesus so ardently.
Kinsey loves me. Marriage to Kinsey has been wonderful and redemptive.
First wonderful. I have sat with many others in hurting marriages, and all I can say is that God has gifted me with a wonderful woman. She fits me so wonderfully. Kathy Keller in “The Meaning of Marriage” describes it like this,
“Male and female are “like opposite” to one another. They are like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together because they are not exactly alike nor randomly different, but they are differentiated such that together they can create a complete whole. Each sex is gifted for different steps in the same ‘Great Dance.’”
Kinsey could probably finish all my sentences and accurately predict how I would act in any given situation. Kinsey is my best friend and she fits me in the most beautiful and gracious way.
Second, redemptive. Kinsey has been God’s greatest tool to build me up and sanctify me. Tim Keller in “The Meaning of Marriage” says, “The power of healing love in marriage is a miniature version of the same power that Jesus has with us.” What he is saying is that because of what Jesus has done for us on the cross, we have a new identity that is not broken, puffed up, scared and scarred. This identity is bold, humble, blameless, and radiant (2 Cor. 5:21). It is not because of anything we have done, but because of the new family we are adopted into. We are Jesus’. So when God looks at us he sees the new creation in our hearts that new creation is slowly being drawing out and growing into practical maturity (Phil 1:6). So while the world might exploit all my faults, Jesus covers my faults, atones for them and encourages the new creation to unfold. Christian marriage is a little microcosm of this. Keller goes on to describe it like this,
“So Jesus has the ability to overcome everything anyone has ever said about or to you. In a Christian marriage you’re living that out in miniature. Sometimes your spouse points your directly to Jesus’ love. Sometimes your spouse’s affirmation imitates Jesus’ love and stimulates us to more fully believe and accept the love we have in Christ. So more than any other human relationship, marriage has the unique power to heal all hurts and convince us of our own distinctive beauty and worth.”
God uses Kinsey to sanctify me everyday. I am not sure that I am the easiest person to love. I can easily get consumed in ministry, books, mini-series from the internet (because prime time happens during: dinner time, bath time and bed time… every night!), and remodeling or building projects. I wish I could say I get consumed in these things for the sole benefit of others (especially the ministry part), but I am saddened to say that often in the middle of these things is my ego. And my ego can so easily get injured. And yet, Kinsey loves me so wonderfully. I am convinced that when Kinsey looks at me she sees someone very different from the person I see when I look in the mirror. It is almost as though she sees what God is making me into long before that guy emerges. It is certainly before anyone else sees him. God uses Kinsey, powerfully, to encourage me, push on me and love me. I love my Kinsey. Kinsey loves me so well.
Kinsey is just stinking cool. I have met a lot of pastor’s wives and all I can say is my Kinsey is stinking cool. What does stinking cool mean? It means a ton of things! Just to name a few in no particular order: She is hot. She lets me have a motorcycle. She is a ton of fun. She has a degree that enables her to make a lot more money than I ever could, but chooses to stay home with our kids. (And on that note, she is the most fun mom ever!!! However, her Buzz Lightyear voice sounds like Buck Denver from “What in the Bible with Buck Denver.” Now to think about it… all her male impersonations sound like Buck Denver… not important. Let’s keep moving.) She has keen sense of style. (This causes long mall trips. Not because of what you might be thinking. It is because people stop her in the mall to take pictures of her hair. That has never once happened to me.) Her favorite movies are the Bourne Identity movies and Bob Stoops would be wise to consult her on defensive packages. (And she doesn’t even make fun of me for not knowing the starting quarterback for the 2013 season.) She is a fantastic cook. (I would put her homemade made from scratch chocolate chip cookies, homemade made from scratch soft sugar cookies, homemade made from scratch piecrust, homemade made from scratch rolls, homemade made from scratch cinnamon rolls and homemade made from scratch corn bread against anyone’s.) She is so kind to others. (We have a lot of people in our home and she is so gracious to bring people in.) And I love, love, love the way Kinsey can laugh. And I mean laugh!!! I don’t know how else to describe cool, but like this. My Kinsey is stinking cool.
I cannot imagine my life without my Kinsey. Kinsey is God’s greatest gift to me. Paul Hamar, an old deacon at FBC Weatherford, once said when describing his wife, “I could not have done any better if I would have know what I was doing when I chose my wife.” That is certainly true for me. God knew what I needed and made Kinsey. He gave her a love for football to bring her to the University of Oklahoma for college. He had me work for the Baptist General Convention of Missouri where I met Jake Smith, who knew Kinsey and told her to find me when she got to OU. Then he made her lab partners with an LXA associate member named BJ Donalson, who introduce her to me during a Shane and Shane concert, not to be confused with a Bebo Norman concert (little inside joke). And he did all of this, so I could make the greatest choice of my life, outside of Jesus, and marry Kinsey. I love my Kinsey.