Reflections of a Newlywed

Why do they have to make airplanes so darn cold?! This is all I could think of on our flight to Jamaica for our honeymoon. I was wearing a long dress and hoodie- with the hood pulled up over my frizzy hair- and was still freezing to death. I asked Nick to put his feet over mine and his hand (which is like a heater because his body temperature is on average 50 degrees warmer than mine) on my thigh, and attempted to bury my head in his shoulder.

Well here’s a perk of marriage- fewer flights where I’m freezing to death and have nothing I can do about it. I was still cold, but warmer than I would have been flying alone. I briefly reflected on how many trips I had traveled alone- to visit my sister in Nashville, home for Christmas, overseas to Korea, work trips to conferences.

Before the wedding, I had wondered how I would feel after getting married. I mean, 29 years is a long time to be single and then all the sudden *poof* married. The morning after, Nick and I both talked about how surreal it was. We’re not single anymore. Weird.

The first thing Nick and I did when we got to our hotel room after the reception was drop to our knees and thank God. We had such a fantastic wedding week. I kept waiting for a catastrophe, but nothing horrible happened. Everything went smoothly, and we were surrounded by some of the most wonderful people on the planet.

And more than a flawless wedding week and a beautiful wedding, I received the extra benefit of having an incredibly caring, patient, and supportive husband. There are so many emotions that go with getting married and two becoming one, and Nick made me and my wellbeing first in everything.

I almost feel guilty because I know so many people in difficult relationships or struggling in their singleness. When I was leaving before the wedding and informing my clients I’d be gone for 2 weeks, I almost dreaded them asking me why, because many of them were struggling in their marriages, had been hurt by men, or were dealing with the pain of loneliness. And this is true of some of my closest friends and family as well. Part of me feels guilty to be in a mutually loving and supportive relationship.

I don’t know why some relationships work out and some don’t. I don’t know how God changed my heart enough to see Nick for the strong and tender man that he is, or humbled my spirit enough to trust him with my soul.

I do know that I am oh-so-new in this whole marriage thing, and everyone expects their marriage to succeed at the beginning.

And I know that my love for Nick really does grow deeper every day.

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