Ashley Brennfoerder

So like many other bloggers this month, I didn’t really have an idea of what to write about. I thought about all the struggles that I’m going through right now and how they affected me as a woman, but I don’t necessarily feel ready to write about any of them and my thoughts about those struggles were pretty shallow. Which lead me to wonder why that is, why is it so hard for me to expand on these obstacles in my life?

This is my first blog post ever. I rarely ever even update my facebook status or twitter with things going on in my life. I tell myself that it’s because I don’t like to think too highly of myself or be self-absorbed, but this is far from the case. I’ve realized that these things (ok, maybe not facebook or twitter) take time to stop and reflect on what is going on in my life and I fight against this everyday.

I am a person that really likes change and continually seeks approval and promotion in all aspects of life. I keeping going  and taking on the next challenge so I can avoid the stillness and the silence. It’s in that place where we realize how powerless we are and how often we stray from a Father who never let’s go of us. In this place is where my heart feels the pain from wounds that may have happened yesterday or a year ago that I have not let myself really accept. But also in this place, is where we find the beauty of grace that has been promised to us. It’s where we find the little mercies that He gives us each day, from waking up in the morning, to having those quick moments of remembering “Oh yeah, You have been here the whole time, I just haven’t been looking”. Also in this place is where we can identify our heart’s position to Christ. Am I standing wanting control of my life? Am I sitting passively waiting for something to happen to me? Or is my heart kneeling before the King?

I am very thankful that Krista asked me to write something. I didn’t really write anything that specifically relates to women, but it is something that this task made me ponder and I’m a woman now, I guess ( I just made my first casserole last week, so I think now I am officially qualified). Being reflective is something that I need to take on in my life to truly learn and heal from my past and to live in Christ in the present.

I am one Sooner in a family of Cornhuskers that recently moved to Denver, Colorado a year and half ago trying to live my hipster lifestyle with my 1980’s Schwinn road bike, collection of vinyls, and new found love for hummus and pita chips. I also get the privilege of being Krista’s future sister-in-law 🙂

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