Reading Magazines in the Check-Out Lane

Let me just start by saying I think magazines are the devil. Seriously. At least the ones that feature tons of pretty, photoshopped, starving-to-death models.

I have yet to pick up a Cosmo/People/Glamour/Vogue and not immediately feel fat, ugly, and completely inadequate in a number of ways.

But occasionally, when I’m waiting in line to check-out with my groceries, I pick one up and flip through it (against my better judgment).

Usually, I choose an article featuring one of my favorite celebrities in hopes that it will reveal some honorable quality about said celebrity, so I can justify my positive feelings towards her or him.

But have you ever noticed that all articles about celebrities sound remarkably the same!? For real. First, they all start out something like this:

“At about 9am Tuesday morning I sit waiting in (insert ritzy hotel name here) and (insert actress name) breezes through the door wearing (something casual, that normal people wear) with (some flaw) on her sweater. She is surprisingly easy to talk to and even asks about my day…”

Then, somewhere in the article, the actress throws in some completely humble remark. One article stated Julia Roberts doesn’t believe in housekeepers, because all people should be responsible to clean up their own mess (who wouldn’t go to see her next film after reading that?!). A recent article on Jennifer Garner (I confess, one of my faves) quoted her saying she’s always dreamt of meeting Yo-Yo Ma, but doesn’t have the guts to call him up (who doesn’t love a celebrity with insecurities?).

I often wonder, do these celebrities throw these little virtues in throughout the interview and then laugh about them later with their friends? Or, does their agent or publicist remind them before they leave to throw in some Joan Cleaver remarks? “They are going to eat this up!”

Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe celebrities really are “just people.”

What I really want to know is why the authors of said articles never say anything more original. I mean, if a person like myself who rarely reads mags gets sick of reading different variations of the same thing, wouldn’t avid magazine readers be bored to tears?

It doesn’t really matter, though, because like I said- I think magazines are the devil.

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2 thoughts on “Reading Magazines in the Check-Out Lane

  1. I like Real Simple. It is a magazine, but it is not the devil. And what I don’t understand about the type of magazine you’re referencing is this: don’t people feel a little bit lame-o, being so interested in the life of a total stranger? Like they don’t have real friends- actual people they know- to keep up on instead?

  2. Ahahah! YES!!!! As a magazine addict who mostly practices her habit while waiting in grocery store lines…I can honestly say those articles always bug the crap out of me. They also ALWAYS mention what the actress is eating and it goes something like this, “As Gwyneth grazes on her Cobb salad, she sets down her fork and says, “I cannot live without food. I work out 12 hours a day so I can have cheese on this cobb salad because, really, who can live without cheese!! I believe in balance, you know. That’s why I work out 12 hours a day so I can have cheese!”

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