Tonight I feel nauseous- like feel like I’m going to throw up nauseous- and the reason I feel this way so often lately is the plethora of knots in my stomach. Knots steadily tied by the careful hands of my own relentless anxiety.
Lately I’ve felt buried under the weight of life circumstances not going my way. Unemployment. Moving away from friends. A break up. Frustration in licensing. Job searching. Loneliness. Living at home. Financial stress. The list goes on.
I’ve lost ten pounds, and trust me- it’s not from exercising. I’ve had the motivation of a 15-year-old cat lately.
Some are self-inflicted woes, some I’ve had no control over. I need to stop punishing myself for the faults that are mine and start accepting the things I haven’t had control over.
I need to let go of my fear. Let go of my anxiety. Let go of my regrets. Let go of my ‘what ifs’. Let go of my ‘I should have’s”.
I need to allow myself to enjoy a moment, any moment.
I need to start working out my faith in trusting God enough to allow myself feel joy.