In Your Hands

So I’m driving back from visiting my sister’s family in Battle Creek last week and Came to My Rescue by Hillsong comes on my i-pod. While I’m listening, the line, “My whole life /I place in your hands” stands out to me.

I pray this a lot lately. God take over my life, show me the way, I place my life in your hands.

But what does it mean to place my life in God’s hands, literally, tangibly?

Sure, there are the obvious things- If you’re given the option to steal from your boss or put the money back, you put the money back. Given the option to lie to a friend or tell her the truth, you tell her the truth. Given the option to have sex with your boyfriend or go home frustrated, you go home frustrated.

But what about those little- and big- every day decisions? Move to New York or Minneapolis? Break up or stay together? Go back to school or get a job? Fly home for the weekend or save money? Buy the reasonable sedan or the swanky SUV (not that I have the luxury of pondering this question;)?

I’m sure a lot could be said about this, but before you jump in and give me advice, here’s one thing that I think I’m learning- trusting God is deeply personal. As trust looks different in various marriages, so it does in our faith.

Though I’m not married, I’ve noticed from meeting with couples and from married friends and family that each couple’s “trust” looks different. Some couples choose not to ride in a car alone with members of the opposite sex while others do. Some couples have specific facebook “rules” while others may not. These are all couples I respect and who I believe have established firm trust in one another, but it looks different for each.

Placing our lives in God’s hands may look different between people and within the same person depending on who God has designed her to be and her place in life’s journey.

When I did a breakout at the FBC women’s retreat a few weeks ago, we talked about what it looks like to trust God. I was blown away by the wisdom, grace, and diversity in the women’s explanations of what it looks like for them each, personally, to trust God at this moment in their lives.

But we make mistakes when we think we’re placing our lives in God’s hands just as we make mistakes in marriages. Even with the best of intentions, all marriages experience some break in trust at some point in time. Similarly with trusting God. I may think I’m trusting God, but later I look back at that period in my life and realize that I was really just trying to control a situation out of fear or doubt or just plain old habit.

So, I’m on this journey, and I’m in this relationship with Christ, and I’m trying to place my life in His hands, but I struggle a lot with knowing whether to trust my head or my heart, knowing whether I’m over-thinking or over-emoting, and distinguishing between God’s leading and my flesh.

It never seems quite as clear to me as others make it out to be.

Sometimes I get furious at the ways that everything is so confusing and seemingly hopeless. Other times I allow myself to rest in the knowledge that whether or not I do a good job at trusting my life in God hands, He always holds me there.

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5 thoughts on “In Your Hands

  1. I love this addition to your blog. This is learned process every minute of every day for your life! It takes years of practice years of falling down to finally get that it’s ALWAYS better to trust God. When I get there, I’ll let you know – but what I do know is my trusting is very different from 20 years ago and very much deeper than 10 years ago. Not much of a comfort but I’m looking forward to getting better at it and so should you.:)

  2. Something I’ve found helpful to ask is the simple question, ‘Is my decision ultimately for the highest good of God and his creation, or is it ultimately an act of selfishness instead?’ All decisions are either an expression of self serving, or living for the highest good of all. There isn’t anything else in a decision except one or the other. The challenge I find is knowing what to do when I realize I want what God doesn’t want. How do I avoid going home frustrated when my natural desires are pushing to have their way? There must be a ‘joy unspeakable and full of glory’ that frees me from feeling like I’m on withdraw symptoms.

    God’s provision for married people to take care of the others needs is good, yet even here, I have found that I must practice moderation and self-control and that married sex isn’t a cure for lust or loneliness. Deep honesty, humility, and service balances relationships that would otherwise leave us still feeling lonely, and again, in need. The provision of marriage (and maybe all his provisions) is like manna, it only meets our need if we are willing to be content with it, otherwise we fall into grumbling and wishing we had more and God isn’t positively impressed with us. This has been a hard thing for me to realize and emotionally come to terms with having grown up with so much and so little appreciation for self control in every area of my life. I’m in hopes that as my discipleship process continues, I will find a real joy that fully replaces my withdraw symptoms.

  3. I so understand….. at times my trust is unquestionable and it is easy to rest in trusting God. Other times I wrestle with trusting God. I do know that I trust God more deeply than 5 years ago.

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