Death vs. Hope

A dear friend gave me a book over conversation and hot(ish) soup at La Sous Terre last week. As soon as I got a chance, I opened to the section titled ‘Surviving’ because that is very much where I am right now.

I found these words in the first meditation:

Every day we experience death. The death of dreams, misconceptions, illusions. The death of vibrancy and enthusiasm. The death of hope. The death of courage. The death of confidence. The death of faith. The death of trust. More often than any of us ever expect, life stuns us with the sudden wrenching away of a loved one, a devastating diagnosis, a conversation that begins the the chilling words, “There’s something I’ve got to tell you.”

The author put words- good words and hard words- to what I’ve been feeling these past months, and especially this week.

Here’s my death story (poem?) of late:

Death of a career
Death of a community
Death of a dream
Death of a relationship with a wonderful man

But I’m trying to keep hope alive.

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3 thoughts on “Death vs. Hope

  1. As always your words leave me wondering how you found just the right words to express things I’ve felt so often silently because I couldn’t put words to the emotions. My heart hurts for you during this season of death, I’m sorry for all your losses, and I’m praying for you, friend.

  2. death may or may not be a choice. but in most cases “trying” is a choice. i’m sorry for the recent deaths, and celebrate that you are continuing to *keep trying*.

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