I’ve been here before- this place where I’m an adult and still living at home and spending a ridiculous amount of time on the hammock under the trees in the backyard. The last time I was here was after graduate school and a particularly tough time in my life, a time when I was relearning who I was and what I believed and – oh ya- processing 20+ years of emotions I had stuffed.
The tall tree trunks still sway in the wind like a couple slow dancing and the leaves still twinkle and whisper as the wind incessantly passes through them. The steep valley that leads down to the creek is still a florescent green from the combination of dense foliage and sunshine, and the creek is still barely babbling in all its persistent shallowness.
However, I never remember so many spiders. Yes, just three minutes ago mr. daddy-long-legs decided it was a grand idea to stroll casually across my chest. He paid for that decision with his life. Sorry nature lovers.
Back on topic: Now I’m trying to use this time I have once again. Trying to enjoy the great Up North and my family and the time to reflect on my life and meditate on my God. If I’m not careful, it’s easy to let my anxiety grow as tall as the trees that hover above me. There are plenty of things I can worry about.
But how many times in the midst of the busyness of college or my career have I thought to myself “if I only had a minute to rest, a minute to reflect”? Or yearned for days that I didn’t have something scheduled from six in the morning until ten at night, or for weekends that weren’t booked with activities- fun activities- but always more and more activities?
Now I have it. Now I have that once in a lifetime chance to – as an adult – rest, relax, reflect, and navigate life at a slow pace rather than a million miles a minute.
So I will continue to do some soul searching, to try to listen to what God is saying through this transition, and to open my heart to what the people around me have to teach me.
Because what else is a hammock under the trees for, but soul searching?