By far the strangest and most unsettling aspect of blogging is the fact that I don’t know who reads my blog.
My blog statistics show that 147 people have visited my blog today. I assume that a huge majority of those people are my facebook friends, as I don’t delude myself to think that I have some sort of anonymous national following- though I very much appreciate the strangers who visit and comment.
This means that people I interact with daily may or may not have read my most recent blog post. Which leads me to wonder what they think of what I say. Do they think I’m crazy? Dramatic? Sexist? Unintelligent or uninteresting? I find myself having trouble sleeping or feeling anxious on mornings after publishing another post. I am always surprised at how vulnerable and exposed I feel the entire day following (particularly transparent) new posts.
This is why I love comments. Even from the people who always have something critical to say (Brett Daily); I’d rather be candidly challenged than left in the dark as to how someone feels. Comments give me the heads up that a given person has read my blog so I don’t have to wonder.
But, as the facts show, not everyone likes to comment. That’s obviously okay.
I’ll just use these little posts as another way to work on my insecurities. I shouldn’t need people to praise my work, to agree or disagree with me. It’s enough that I’ve just put it out there. I am who I am. These are my thoughts.