Krista at the Crossroads

I wanted to title this post “Cleopatra” or “Wonder Woman” at the Crossroads. But I thought, I’ll never become a great woman if I only try to be like other great women. I have to possess strength, courage, and beauty- thought, and action, and creativity- of my own. I have to be secure in who I am.

But most of the time I’m not secure. Most of the time I’m scared.

Once again I’m at a place in my life that involves decision making and change, and with change comes loss. No matter what I choose, no matter where I go, I will lose something- relationships, dreams, comfort.

I’m tired of it. I don’t want start over again, don’t want to feel the vulnerability that comes in being alone again.

I often think of the Bible verses that talk about making the most of what God has given us. What is the best use of my God-given strengths and talents? Do I pursue a doctorate? Do I focus on “settling down” and raising a family? Do I try to do both?

It all comes back to the same thing. Do I trust God enough to take a step, to make a choice?

I have to, because I cannot stay where I am. As much as I fear the unknown, I know in my heart it’s time to move on. In the questions I know He’s faithful. He’s always been faithful, but His faithfulness hasn’t always meant painlessness- it’s just meant that he hasn’t left me alone in the pain.

I want to wrap this post up in a big bow that looks something like, “but I know it will all work out, and things will be lovely, and I will be happy.” But that would be dishonest.


3 thoughts on “Krista at the Crossroads

  1. When I made the toughest decision to date; to move to KC away from family, friends, and security, I remember you pointed me towards my options but ultimately it was a choice I had to make. It was hard and I never really felt one hundred percent until I was here and making it all it could be. The decision to make it work was one of the most important on the to do list and look where I am at. KC, lovin a new job, meeting new people and making a difference all my own. Becoming a great woman all my own.

    It sounds like you have already made the toughest decision, whether to stay or to go. Go add to the already great woman you are and do it because you want to, because you feel it would make you complete, not to prove something, not for the next level of smart, or because it is the next logical step. The US is only 2600 miles from San Francisco to NY, thats a long weekend trip ;0)

    Good luck and stay in touch,

  2. Krista!
    You are such a brave, wise, woman of Lord. I respect you so much and pray for all the best for you going forward in your next new adventure. It sounds like you’re being called to something new. I’ll be praying for you and reading your blog posts as you continue your journey.

    love and prayers,

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