I was recently skimming the “similar blog posts” that WordPress suggests after I publish a post, and found the following excerpt. I realize that blogging about some random guy’s post rather than responding to him specifically is futile and immature, but what he says is common enough that I want to respond to it. If he can share his feelings on the subject, why shouldn’t I? Here’s what he said:
“I’ll flat-out say it: from the perspective of someone seeking a long-term life partner, preferably in the next decade, American white women just aren’t, in aggregate terms, very good. Sure, some individual American white women are great– my mother is an American-born white woman, and my parents are still together after 35 years– but there are far too few of them. The odds are long, and the good ones out there are usually taken. Show me an American-born single, attractive white woman older than 25, and I’ll show you an 85% chance of a defective personality.”
Okay, well, I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not completely defensive and biased concerning this subject. But seriously? Seriously. I’m torn between making two responses:
1. Assert that I do not have a “defective personality.” I may be over 26 and single, but I am pretty sure that I am a hard working, relatively intelligent, and compassionate contributor to society. I have plenty of friends and work well with all of my coworkers- if I had a “defective personality” wouldn’t that show up in relationships other than romantic ones? And what, may I ask Mr. insolent blog author sir, would you guess the percentage to be for defective personalities in people who make sweeping, ageist, racist, and sexist generalizations about an entire demographic?
2. Admit that I do have a defective personality, but argue that everyone does. I have my “signature sins” and shortcomings as much as anyone else. I am aware that my signature sin is pride. I am aware that I use work and productivity to avoid the hurts or even happiness in my heart. I am aware that I am often more focused on doing than on feeling. I am aware that I can come off as intimidating or overconfident. I am aware that I find it incredibly difficult to apologize sometimes and that I have a tendency to always think I’m right. But I am aware of these things, and I am working on them. Who doesn’t have some defects of personality? Isn’t the idea of marriage that you accept one another for who you are, regardless of weaknesses? So-at the risk of being as close minded and critical as the man who I am responding to-I would suggest to him that if he is looking for a woman with no defects of personality, he is looking for a woman who- I regret to inform him- does not exist.
Again, I will confess to being defensive and having an axe to grind; however, I’m just going to be honest and say that it completely pisses me off when random strangers cause me to question my so-called desirability because they have some preconceived notion about what age it’s appropriate for a woman to get married.
Perhaps I’m just tired of having to defend my character to people who don’t even know me just because I have (or don’t have) a certain marital status.