So today we had one of our first Wednesday services. The service starts at 6, and I usually have a 5:00 appointment. So at this week at 5:00 I started my appointment with my client, and she was clearly in a vulnerable state. We spent much of the session sitting in her pain together and processing what was going on for her. I felt it was a productive, though painful, session. At the end of the session, I felt a burden to pray for her and all she was going through and would continue to go through in the weeks to come. However, it was past 6:00, and I didn’t want to miss the worship time at our Wednesday service. So I ended our session, and I let her leave without prayer.
As I entered the sanctuary, I thought about the decision I made. I decided not to pray for someone, because I wanted to praise God. No, that’s not it. I decided not to pray for someone, because I was more interested in praising myself than I was in praising God. If I were really concerned with praising God, I would have done what was honoring to him, and I would have chosen to pray for that woman. When I take a hard look at my heart during worship, I realize it is often focused on me and “feeling good” more than it is focused on God. I need to be more intentional about refocusing it.