Desire to be Captivated or Confident?

I’m Reading a book called Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage. I would argue the entire book to be worthy of your time and attention, but for this post I’m focusing on a specific paragraph:

“A healthy woman has a confidence that she has something attractive and powerful within her that will be fully released when a strong husband engages her heart. She desires that her man offer his strength so she can respond and envelop him with the magnificence of her being. She does not fear his masculinity nor think of herself as inferior or superior to him. Rather than desire to be taken care of, she longs for the love, security, and resources of a husband in order to provide the safety and stability that free her to abandon her fears and make available the splendor of God’s beauty within her” (Misja and Misja, 69)”

And now I’m going to do something I don’t usually do when people make sweeping assumptions about women or gender roles- agree with what the authors say. I find this quote mostly accurate and wholly refreshing because the authors do not paint a picture of a whispy, needy, weak woman who yearns to be captivated or rescued.

Instead this passage depicts women as autonomous, intelligent, action-oriented creatures who know what they have and what they want. They also speak of the importance she finds her inner, God-given beauty, not the outer beauty that many authors assert is central to one’s womanhood. In this passage, women aren’t just looking for something, they have something to offer as well.


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