We occasionally sing a song in church with the lyric “break my heart for what breaks yours”.
Confession: I typically remain quiet during this line of the song.
I wonder if others have a hard time with this line, or if I’m the only person who’s that selfish or afraid. But honestly, I can’t bring myself to ask my heart to be broken like that of God’s.
I can’t imagine what it would feel like for my heart to break if my heart were as pure, loving, and selfless as God’s. But I can imagine that it would not feel good.
I feel like my heart breaks all the time. My heart breaks for family members struggling in difficult marriages, for friends struggling with invisible illnesses, for losses in my own life- and on top of that for the pain of my clients.
So, I’ve developed my own counselor’s prayer to replace the one that my heart would break as God’s does:
God, help me to share my client’s (or friend’s) pain without letting her pain overwhelm me.
Help me to feel her hurt without feeling consumed by it.
Help me to enter her chaos without being sucked into it.
Help me to approach her problems without feeling the need to fix them.
Help me share her grief without trying to rescue her from it.
Help me to bear witness to her past without feeling the weight of its devastation.
Help me to celebrate her growth without taking credit for it.
Help me to hear of abuse without turning cynical, broken relationships without becoming bitter, neglectful parenting without being judgmental.
Help me to hold hope for others even when I’m struggling to hold hope for myself.
Help me to keep my heart open even after it breaks.
And help me to draw closer to your heart every time I’m overwhelmed by the pain in mine.
This is my prayer. Not that God would break my heart for what breaks His, but that He would teach me something of Himself by what breaks mine.
Confession: As I read this I found myself putting my in where it says her. Sometimes it is too easy for me to see the fault in others because I am struggling with it myself and secretly dont want to admit it to myself. This is a beautiful prayer that really shows how big your heart is and how much you have to offer the world.
Thanks Kandi. I think it’s a great idea to put our own selves in the prayer as well as others.
Krista, I love this prayer so much. It says many of the things I too pray often. I worry that I will become callused to the things I’m being told that I won’t feel what my heart should – the pain of those I’m talking to. But I have made the mistake in the past of taking too much responsibility for my clients’ decisions and feeling the grief swallow me. With your permission, I would like to copy this and share it with my counselors at our next in-service. Thanks for putting into words so beautifully what I know to be true.
Thank you Carol. I know you have a beautiful heart that has broken much as well. I’d be honored if you shared this at your in-service.
Wow. I’m copy pasting your prayer.
I too–don’t want to sing that line…i don’t think we even know what that means and we sing it.
Good point. We definitely don’t (or at least I definitely don’t). Thanks for the comment Hons.
Thank you for sharing your loving heart with us! Love you!!
Oh I love this prayer! Thank you for continually inspiring and encouraging and being real sharing from the depths of your heart friend!
I am printing this out and putting it above my desk at work
thanks Krista.
Glad you find it useful, Beth:) Hope you’re still enjoying your work!
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